The other day I hit the 500-day mark from the last time I had a hangover. It was also the last day I had alcohol. That’s 1 year, 4 months and 15 days. I used to challenge myself to try to take a month off, then the week then just a few days, usually didn’t even make it past 2. Do I miss it? NOPE. Not at all. Is my life better without it? Significantly. Alcohol used to trick me. It gave me confidence, but I didn’t know it was fake. I didn’t know how scared of everything I really was. My confidence was slashed when I was a kid and it was never built back up…until I got sober in my 40’s. I always wondered what it felt like when people talked about having the proverbial weight lifted off of them and that’s what I felt once I had been sober for a little bit. I drank because I was sad and didn’t want to be sad anymore. Sobriety helped me learn how to feel sad and be ok with it. Here to report at the 500 mark that I still get sad, but it goes by and then I get to fully feel the relief and the real, raw happiness that follows. Now I have this strange confidence that I am capable of anything so watch out.

500+ days ago, I had to figure out how I was going to replace my old hobby with something that didn’t include blacking out. I tried baking but I hate cleaning up after. I tried making floral arrangements, but I hate cleaning up after. I quickly learned, I don’t like cleaning up after anything. What do sober people do?! I wasn’t sure but I kept at it and here I am 500 days sober. Because anything is better than wondering how you got home the night before with a pounding headache. Not gonna lie there were some things I was really looking forward to like- great skin and magical sleep. Apparently, you still have to take care of your face and go to bed at a reasonable hour. No, it’s not the easiest thing I have done, but at the same time, it is. Confusing right?! I know.

Turns out there is science behind alcohol and the way it affects your brain chemistry. I know you know, everyone knows. I’m not even going to type it here because- you know. If you don’t know, just google it. What I had to learn- the long and hard way- is even though it seems like alcohol makes life more fun and exciting, that’s a flat out lie. I fell for it! So many people think they are so unique and found the secret to fun is cocktails! Buuuut you’re just doing what the majority is doing because society told you to. Sorry not sorry. If whatever you’re doing means you have to have cocktails to make it fun- it’s not that fun to begin with. Try doing it sober, I still want to sit and hang out with my friends, but not for 6 hours at the expense of my liver. Being sober is a challenge in a world of easily accessible alcohol which is why most people don’t do it. Sitting with yourself in those lonely sober moments is when the change happens. You realize the big ah ha moments that change you. If it hasn’t happened yet, then you haven’t gotten there yet. But that’s the journey. If you want it bad enough, you’ll sit through it. If that doesn’t apply to your life, well congratulations but alcohol will still ruin something or someone in your life eventually.

That’s all I’ve got. Sobriety is simple and it’s not. It’s kinda like driving with a really dirty windshield then you wash it and things are clear and you’re less likely to crash. When I needed some help hanging in there and realized I didn’t like baking or cleaning, I discovered some great podcasts and audiobooks. I would walk my dog and zone out. Here were some that really spoke to me:

• Mel Robbins “Let Them Theory” The main thing that stood out to me with this was- how she pointed out how everyone believes it won’t happen to them. Whatever “it” is. For me it was alcoholism. Nobody is invincible from anything. There is a DUI, car crash, drunken fight etc that happens to someone every day. You’re not special and your time will come if it’s not prevented.
• Any Mel Robbins podcast episodes.
• “Drunk Mom, Sober Mom” podcast and IG page. Totally relatable as a parent with multiple kids.
• “Your Sober Pal” Instagram account. She’s hilarious. Sobriety is funny BTW.
• I became a big Walker Hayes fan. Fun music inspired by sobriety.
• Walker Hayes wrote a book too
• I started a sober blog. That you’re reading right now 😉look at you.
• Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino autobiography. Any Jersey Shore junkies will love this.
• Go find a Big Red Bus and donate blood. You could be saving a life, and you get a gift card.
• Read a good book. You have time now.

One other recommendation from yours truly: Find a volunteer need you can get behind and spare some time to do. I bet you are needed somewhere in your community. If you have school age kids, reach out to the PTA or booster club. Finding ways to help with those takes creativity and effort which is something sober you already has. I start my first Mentor shift with a middle school boy on Thursday. Never would I have thought anyone would take me serious enough for something like that. But here I am, because I’m sober so I’m convinced I can do anything. So stick with it. It’s worth it.